tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1349237658549216172024-02-01T22:01:36.481-05:00Letters to TuesdayLetters about random things I think about updated on or before Tuesdays!Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-8719279626346182292011-09-27T16:24:00.003-04:002011-09-27T16:57:56.149-04:00Dear TuesdayDear Tuesday-<br />Its been a long day. But here i am. I have had a strange request this week. It will not surprise you that this strange request came out of mid day drinking on the patio after a long football Saturday. Stranger things have happened on Saturday football days. This request, nay....let me say CHALLENGE, was to sucessfully write an entertaining blog based solely on two topics.. 1) Jenny, a good friend and boisterous young lady of whom i met during what else??..... Football. and 2)seafood, or more specifically scalloping. How on Earth is Mousepants going to do this, you may be asking yourself. But my dearest Tuesday, i will not disappoint. I have decided to paint a verbal picture to you of what it may be like for Jenny to go scalloping. <br /><br />Its a beautiful tropic day and a light breeze blows off the ocean water and leaves salt on your skin. Jenny is just finishing up her morning cigarette with a tall glass of yingling, it makes no difference that it is before noon. She goes insides to prepare for her scalloping day. She liberally sprays on some SPF 50. Her fair skin can take no more sunburn. She makes two peanut butter sandwhiches on hot dog buns. To make it on white bread seems too predictable and let me assure you the hot dog bun sammys taste better anyway. She packs a cooler of beer, grabs her sunglasses and smokes and heads out for her adventure. Its smoldering outside. she is sweating and already craving her next brewski. If there are friends of hers on this adventure be ready for her boisterous entrance that may include but is not limited to, screaming, butt smacking, sarcastic put downs, hugs, kisses or chest bumps. The snorkel and goggles smooosh her little cheeks. the water is warm and welcomes her and the rest of her scalloping clan with open arms. the ocean doesnt really have arms but if it did, it would hug Jenny, im sure of it. Jenny would bob around on the top of the water, her butt in teh air like a bobber on a fishing line. She would aggressively dive down to reach her scallops. She would have it no other way than to be agressive because thats just how she is. I imagine she woudl reach the top and forget her snorkel is full of water and inevitably choke on nasty sea water. This would make her mad. At that point Jenny would have had enough scalloping. She would slowly retreat to the sand where she would enjoy a beer, a peanut butter sammich, and a cigarette while she watches and undoubtedly makes fun of the others butts floating on the water. For Jenny is not a scalloper but indeed a football player and before that even a beer drinker, a funny person and a good friend. <br />Now if you are looking for a good scalloper, call Jodie. <br /><br />So... thats how its done. <br />Mousepants SINGING OFF! BAM!Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-68721277656609629242011-09-20T16:12:00.003-04:002011-09-20T16:18:03.094-04:00Dear people that make me happy!Dear Whoever is listening:<br />No need for me to over dramatize anything today or dive deeply into any heated topics. In the time that I have been away from my blog I have had a ton of awesome moments, a couple of first kisses followed by some new bruises on the old ticker. I have had some embarrassing moments. I have been sick. But more notably than anything, I have been happy. So today id like to pick on the people that make me happy because i know deep down inside, they like being talked about! Here is why you guys make me happy.<br /><br />My brother has been my roommate for ohhhhhhhhhhhhh almost 28 years and wouldn’t you know it, i still like the guy. There is something to be said about a brother/sister/roommate relationship that can last that long. He makes me happy because he answers my stupid questions usually without a roll of the eye. He also eats so healthy from the hours of 8am to 9pm.. After that he is capable of consuming a number of unhealthy treats but usually its as simple as finishing off a container of Jif with a spoon! Makes me happy.<br /><br />My Mom is a character. She has a way of using the same words or stories over and over again and then I find myself using them later on. Grrrr. She can organize anything. When she makes my bed I sleep better. And don’t even get me started on her food! Mom makes me extremely happy.<br /><br />My Dad tells the best stories, mostly because he gets himself involved in some good stories. He tells good jokes. He swears when necessary. He reminds me a lot of his Dad only with smaller ears. He takes me fishing. He teaches me stuff. He is probably the best man on the planet. So obviously, he makes me happy. <br /><br />Jaclyn. I mean she is my "person". I sometimes dont get why exactly we are best friends when she is so classy, intelligent and stylish...that is, until we hang out and can have a great day eating cheese cubes in our sweat pants watching tv and being completely idiotic. When they ask me on an emergency form who to contact that is not family... insert Jaclyn's name there. She has crazy OCDs that make me laugh. And She has pretty hands. She makes me happy.<br /><br />Lucas. Because he makes jaclyn happy. <br /><br />Gretchen is a free spirit. My favorite thing about her is that we tend to go off on the most random topics and get trapped in one of those laughing epidemics. I love it. When Gretchen is happy, it makes me happy.<br /><br />Lauren and Ryan- They make me feel like family. If i were to fall down and break a leg, Ryan would make sure i am ok and Lauren would go into Mom mode. She'd first call mark, and then probably Jaclyn... because she just KNOWS! Then when i am ok we would go get some ice cream! They are nerdy and sporty and we share a love of under armor. Plus they are so in love. Seeing the two of them happy together just makes me smile and having their friendship makes me uber happy! <br /><br />Anne- makes great sausage dip and can conjure up a mood lifting lecture on a whim. Plus she is little. I want to keep her in my pocket.<br />Sarah- she is friends who whoever she wants to be friends with. She hangs out on her own terms. She is the best event planner I know! She stays away from drama and always always knows how to have a good time<br />Kelly- she bakes stuff with alcohol in it. Enough said.<br />Annie- her laugh<br />Jodie- just funny. And a great football player!<br />Christine and Stacy- dynamic duo of awesomesauce. Impossible to not smile when they are around. <br />Robert the animal- gives the best hugs and grows awesome facial hair. Whats not to love? <br />Brian- sweetheart with a strong liver. I trust him more than id like to admit. <br />Jon- just funny. Always goes above and beyond when it comes to team jerseys or uniforms! <br />Computer Guy- he is cute and bald, need I say more?<br />The people I work with. I like to think of the attorneys I work for a lot like the 7 dwarfs only there are like 10 of them. They each have a characteristic but I love them regardless. Witty, Sneezy, Screamy, Professor, Jokester, etc etc….<br />Jill- she is the straight A student, the OCD, the best nails, the best cake, the best parties, the top dawg! <br />Meg- fixes everything.<br />Karen- best boss . She makes me feel like home when im around her and I can tell her just about anything! <br />Joe Thomas- because he loves Cleveland and he looks GOOOOOD in Cleveland.<br />Jason- he is the best texter plus he loves scary movies and superheros. <br />Sammi Butler- most talented young girl I have ever met. She is my personal therapist. And she kicks POTS’ butt.<br />Megan- One of my best friends. Just an over all good human being with a warm loving personality and the most accepting fun loving family! The world could use a few more Megans.<br />Brittany- She gives good compliments and always makes me feel good about myself.<br />Mary- she may talk about herself 90% of the time but when you really need her for that other 10% she is there for you without question.<br />Jose- I don’t talk to him as much as id like but he is still my superman.<br />Adam S. <br />Mike the concession stand guy in my building.<br />The ladies at planned parenthood.<br />Zac Brown.<br />The people who invented post it notes, the microwave, air conditioning and beer.<br />Berea High Marching Band<br />My parking guys.<br />Dave and Kathy<br />Jan and Ken<br /><br />Ok there are probably 10,000 people I am forgetting. But my point is, I have a lot of people in my life that make me happy. Try to focus on that once in a while. See what you can come up with! <br /><br />Bam! Mousepants signing off!Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-2511662911453098712011-03-31T09:55:00.007-04:002011-03-31T12:06:35.771-04:00Tuesdays are back and Life will work out!It was a Saturday afternoon, after fotball (of course). I was with the team at our favorite watering hole just "monkeying around" when a friend of mine stopped up to see us. She doesnt come around often and doesnt play football so getting to see her is always a treat! We usually talk about our dogs and dream about Ben and Jerry's ice cream (she likes chubby hubby, and fish food), and that day was no different... Except after those conversations were done, and about 2 pitchers of cheap beer later, and screaming over the loud music, we got to talking about life. She was telling me a story about a past relationship of hers and we baffled in thinking of how much different her life would be right now if that had actually worked out. She smiled... her ridiculously pretty smile... and told me that life has its way of working out and assured me it wasnt necessary for us to worry about it so much! Holy guacamole batman! Never ever was i expecting on a cold winters day after football to be drinking beer at a bar and also getting probably the best advice ever at a time in my life when i needed to hear it most. Of course that revelation didnt come to me until almost a week later. And has since, brought me back here. For months my blog sat stagnant, as did i , without anything passionate to write about. Its funny...inspiration often presents itself in the most random of ways.<br /><br />With all that said.... Dear Tuesdays,<br /> I am back. and life WILL work out. Break ups happen, and they suck. Whether they happen on a tuesday or on Valentines day, it hurts. Sometimes your jeans don't fit the way you want them to. Sometimes that fit is your fault and sometimes it's the pants, damnit. So what if you want to eat an extra cookie, eat it! Guess what... it snows in Cleveland in April. But in case you forgot, sometimes its 70 degrees in October too. Men have hearts (contrary to popular belief) and girls can be cruel. <br />Worrying about my pants size, how many cookies i eat, the weather, the long drive , traffic, and more often than not...if i will ever find prince charming, is only taking up time and energy. time and energy i could be putting into working out, listening to music in the car and pretending to be a professional singer, enjoying a pretty snowfall even if it its in June, or going out on bad dates that make for good stories. My friend is right, its time to stop worrying, Life has a way of working itself out. <br />Thank you friend.<br /><br />Love,<br />Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-13355115086704601382010-10-12T20:45:00.003-04:002010-10-12T21:36:55.624-04:00Dear AutumnDear Autumn,<br /> I wake in the morning in a shivering cold wrapped tight like a fajita in the warmth of my comforter like its my toasty tortilla. Because of the shorter days the 6 am hour shows no sign of sun yet. My window is wide open and the cool fall air meanders through the room and dances with my curtains taunting my sleepy and confused pup. I just want to stay snuggled up in bed. When the sun decides to wake up with me, it yawns and stretches through ominous clouds. They are big, bubbly, and a deep beautiful grey, if grey can even be considered beautiful. <br />There is something so particular about a fall day. The sound of crispy fallen leaves that scurry across the sidewalk, and that get caught under my heavy feet.The smell of nature or better yet, the smell of autumn treats...pumpkin pie, baked apples, warm casseroles, caramel apples,apple cider, the last of your gardens vegetables, stews and soups, pies and more! Pumpkins, Mums and corn stalks begin to decorate local neighborhoods only until the season allows for the turn to Jack-o-lanters, cob webs, and creepy ornamentation! The afternoon temperature is perfect allowing me to fully enjoy my cozy hooded sweatshirt and worn in jeans.Or should the day allow it, perhaps a friendly game of football is in order. If not to play- then to watch. The end of baseball, the best of football and the preseason start of basketball! <br /> When the night falls haunted houses call. Hayrides. Mazes. Pumpkin Patches and ghost stories. And i cant forget the glory of fall television! Welcome back good tv!!! <br />When the stars play peek-a-boo in the midnight sky my comfy tortilla welcomes me home and cradles me nicely once again. I turn the television on to a new favorite show and my wound up puppy comes to join my fajita party! My day dreams turn into bedtime stories to help me fall asleep. Day afer day these fall days paint a smile on my face with its warm color pallette and delicious taste creations!<br />Autumn, you make buying school supplies fun and haunted houses worth looking forward to. You make apples delectable treats and dead leaves into beautiful pictures and kids wonderlands. You make me want to cuddle. You make me want to eat. <br />Dear Autumn, i love you. Thank you!<br />Love, <br />MeMousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-53841587661153411322010-09-21T14:06:00.003-04:002010-09-21T14:59:10.720-04:00CRUSHEmpty stomach. Cheesy involuntary smile painted across my face. The urge to sway back and forth and sing motown songs or Glee music at the top of my lungs. Dancing. Figiting. Toe tapping. did i mention that stupid childish grin still painted on my face. Ocassional blushing and flushing. Giggles and Fog. Did someone just ask me a question? Trembling hands. Its like my body is being taken over by the bubblies of a freshly opened can of soda! I feel like I could run a marathon..... or throw up , im not sure which will come first! Im pretty sure my arm pits are sweating. Yep, i just checked. my face feels sunburned but im pretty sure the heat is just the blood rushing to my head. like a kid in a candy store, or the anxiety of the first day of school. the smile just will not go away. When i try to hide it it only turns into a laugh or even worse a hideous chuckle that begs people to ask why i am so happy. dare i tell them the truth? word vomit. check my fly for the umteenth time, im good. I think i will skip down the hall way now. Luther Vandross plays melodical tunes while i day dream in slow motion. inspired. happy. cute. butterflies.<br />Dear Tuesday,<br /> I have a crush on you.<br /><br />Love, <br />Me Mouse PantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-59150800627925644812010-08-17T16:32:00.000-04:002010-08-23T16:48:00.276-04:00Dear Dove ChocolatesDear Dove Chocolates,<br /> Not only do your smooth chocolate candies fill my heart with joy and make my tastebuds sing songs of pleasure but your wrappers are pretty awesome too. In times when chocolate seems to be the only drug to cure my lonely heart or the cure all elixir to an awful day you just put the frosting on the cake by adding messages to your foil dream covers!Like a motivational speech in 10 words or less. My Monday was eased by the following messages:<br /> Indulge in the moments that matter the most- Thank You Nicole from Williston, FL<br /> When you give with joy, joy is your reward- couldnt agree more, Ida from Landing, NJ<br /> Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.- Amen, Kallana from So. Richmond Hill, NY<br /> Say "i love you everyday to your loved ones"- great reminder, Donna from Grand Junction, CO<br /> and from the lady in Columbus, whose wrapper token i have lost, Look for love in unexpected places.<br /> <br />Thank you to those who donated their words of wisdom to the Dove company.<br />on a Monday morning when my eyelids hang heavily over my eyes, when my mind ceases to work on what it should but instead wonders to thoughts of anything but productivity and i need a sweet treat to accompany my morning coffee. When the boy doesnt call me back and im pretty sure i have gotten phased out. When my schedule proves to be too much for my friends and family to bear. When it seems everyone else around me is being annoying and i just need a moment of peace...Or shoooot- when im just hungry and craving something sweet. thank you for making my heart and tummy smile! <br />Love, Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-79336464770421543712010-08-03T13:43:00.000-04:002010-08-04T17:04:54.516-04:00DEAR WOMENIt is not uncommon to find that your favorite drink,toy, bicycle, shirt, shorts or shoes are also made with a pink design to promote breast cancer awareness and support the charitable cause. The pink phenomenon is everywhere. How great is it that a charity has become a trend? Something cool to be a part of. Young women are now proudly displaying their Save the Tatas shirts. And ladies young and old gear up every year to participate in a 3 day, 60 mile walk that helps to raise millions of dollars for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. <br /> With all that said, let me preface todays blog by saying, i completely support the Susan G. Komen Foundation and i think that it is truly amazing how men and women are coming together to show a tremendous amount of support.<br />HOWEVER............................................................<br />Dear Women,<br /> THE NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN EVERY YEAR IS HEART DISEASE. THE NUMBER TWO KILLER OF WOMEN EVERY YEAR IS CANCER (NO SPECIFIC KIND) AND THE NUMBER THREE CAUSE OF DEATH IS STROKE, ANOTHER HEART RELATED CAUSE. Every year the American Heart Association, sponsers, supporters and volunteers like myself work very hard to educate people and raise awareness of this statistic. Their mission is to build healthier lives, healthy lives that will be free of cardio vascular disease and stroke. We raise money for research through events and efforts such as Heart Walks- which encourage people to get out and take walks to strengthen their hearts and also through the Go Red for Women movement. Go Red is a passionate initiative for women of all ages to take control of their heart health. You may be familiar with the red dresses!!! IF not, e-mail me and i can get you a pin!<br /> Heart disease was too commonly reffered to as an old mans disease for many many years. Something like 55% of women are unaware that heart disease is the number one cause of death for females. Its because of this majority that women are going untested and i just wanted to take a moment to educate the few that might read this blog! <br />Care about your heart!<br />And if you are not a woman, surely you have a mother, a sister, a friend, a cousin, aunt, wife or girlfriend that you care about! <br />I dont support this cause for just any reason.... <br />I support it because my Mom has heart disease. <br />and i support it because i am a woman and i care about my heart.<br />So just remember next time you see the pink stuff in the store.. Yes, very important to save the boobies (we all like em) but perhaps you will also remember that blog written by some nobody. Maybe i wont get your money but i might save your life.<br />Love, <br />Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-31156309731194607902010-07-26T16:33:00.003-04:002010-07-26T16:59:32.785-04:00Dear guys who stand out side Planned Parenthood protesting abortion and passing out biblesto those who see it necessary to stand at the side of the road with their dead baby pictures, i hope you feel good about yourselves at the end of the day for standing up for something you believe in, for doing what you think is right in Gods eyes, because other than for those reasons all i can see is that most of what you have done that day is scare, annoy and appall people.... all reasons that i dont think God would be too proud of!<br /><br /><br /><br />I support Planned Parenthood.<br />I support the patients that go to Planned Parenthood.<br />I support all of the employees that work for Planned Parenthood.<br />and i support the procedures performed by Planned Parenthood.<br /><br />That is all.<br />Sincerely,<br />Me Mouse PantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-51357946477769622642010-07-20T16:31:00.000-04:002010-07-26T16:32:10.565-04:00Lex PlodaThere once was an ant<br />His name was Lex Ploda<br />On hot summer days<br />He swam in pools of spilled soda<br /><br />He was quick, he was nimble<br />He was small, and he was a pest<br />One day I was outside<br />And I saw Lex on my chest<br /><br />I squirmed and I squiggled<br />I swiped him off with my hand<br />Lucky for Lex<br />He ran under the trash can<br /><br />Days went by <br /> Lex was not seen<br />Though his friends had been sited<br />In the grass, shaded by green<br /><br />Smart his friends were<br />But smart, Lex was not<br />While his friends sat in shade<br />Lex just got hot<br /><br />So he took a long journey<br />And made it into my house<br />Sitting cool in A.C. <br />Quiet as a mouse<br /><br />Oh he thought he had won<br />Saw a clearing through fog<br />That was until<br />He met his match in my dog!<br /><br />When Nigel met Lex<br />He wanted to play<br />His body perked up<br />As if just to say,<br /><br />C’mon Lex<br />Lets do this man!<br />You run and ill chase<br />Of this game, Im a fan!<br /><br />Lex ran in circles<br />Not sure what to do<br />He almost got caught <br />In sloberry dog goo<br /><br />He zigged and he zagged<br />Zlogged and ziggled<br />(yah I don’t think they are words<br />But they made me giggle)<br /><br />Nigel’s pawsCame down <br />Quick, with a thud<br />If Lex could poop his pants<br />He’d been sittin in mud!<br /><br />When those paws came down<br />It sure was close<br />but the paws never got him<br />it was Nigels Nose<br /><br />sucked him up <br />in a nostril deep<br />startled even Nigel<br />splurged into a leap<br /><br />not sure what happened<br />stood blank, shook it off<br />wiped snot from his face<br />and gave a good cough<br /><br />Nige looked around <br />Searching for his play mate<br />But Lex was gone<br />Headed to the white gates<br /><br />As quick as it started<br />It was done<br />Nigel walked away <br />To find other fun.<br /><br /><br />A good ant died that day<br />But I don’t care one iota<br />Shoulda learned form your friends and stayed outside<br />Goodbye little Lex Ploda!Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-7886778273691982342010-07-06T15:05:00.007-04:002010-07-06T16:36:08.493-04:00Best things in Life that Go togetherDear Best-Things-in-Life-That-Go-Together!,<br />Peanut butter and Jelly, Peanut Butter and Chocolate..or if you grew up in my house- peanut butter and a spoon!bacon and eggs, salt and pepper, biscuits and gravy, pancakes and syrup, mashed potatoes and gravy, Campfires and smores, mustard and ketchup, either/or and hot dogs, hot dogs and baseball games. Mario and Luigi. Fred and Ginger, warm pie and cold ice cream, toast and butter. Thunderstorms and the immediate urge to watch Twister (just me?), fork and knife, jello and jiggling, Saturdays and Football...or Sundays or mondays or wednesdays or thursdays :)<br />rock, paper and scissors, rocks and hard places, oreos and milk, fresh snow and Christmas, fireworks and oooos and ahhhhhhs, post it notes and sharpie markers, under aromor and good looking athletes! vanilla vodka and ginger ale, sore muscles and icy hot, DVR and lazy sundays (thank you!) fruit and cool whip, peas and carrots, high fiber diets and explosive gas, really hot days and boob sweat, laffy taffy and funny jokes, cedar point and great french fries, halloween and pumpkins, or halloween and that scary music!!! Halloween and girls dressed slutty. birthdays and cake. Thelma and Louise, Danny and Sandy, Ben and Jerry. thanksgiving and the Zoo. hooded sweatshirts and worn in blue jeans! Hammer and nails, black and white, red white and blue, stars and stripes, night and day, beaches and books, Hannah and Montana. Wyoming and Triceratops. Chips and Dip. Doritos and G's Taco Dip. Red Roses and Blue Violets. Cheese and Wine, Beer and Cigarettes. newspapers and the funny pages. socks and shoes, Sonny and Cher, Beavis and Butthead, Hall and Oates, Guns and Roses. Ex boyfriends and a certain friend of mine that shall remain nameless (her Ex's NOT MINE!). Pots and Pans. moon and stars. Alliteration and Emphasis. TIme and Money. Popcorn and butter. Popcorn and movie nights, cookies and cream. Dairy Queen and Cherry Cone Dip, nuts and bolts. nuts and squirrels. lock and key. Lakes and mosquitos. sick days and nyQuil. Dr. Pepper and Taco Bell. FIFA cup and Vuvuzelas. Sun and shade. Hunger and Pangs. Butterflies and first kisses. hangovers and bloody marys. endless nights and rough mornings, LEBRON AND CLEVELAND (hope i dont jinx it!)and Most of all... My mom and Dad!<br /><br />PS. for whatever reason, i thought of doing this blog one morning when NKOTB (for all you youngins that New Kids on the Block) The Right Stuff came on the iPod. I started thinking about all the things that go together so "rightly", if you will! So thank you Jordan, Jonathan, Joey, Danny and most of all Donnie.Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-42443919255882203152010-06-29T12:17:00.000-04:002010-06-30T15:50:50.793-04:00datingDear future first dates,<br /> Guys- you will be 86ed in a hot minute for the following. Sagging pants, sandals with socks on, white shirts with yellow pit stains, basketball jersys without undershits, gaudy jewelry, too many buttons undone on a button up, starter jackets, and skinny jeans. If you shave your legs or arms for any reason other than being a professional fighter or swimmer you need not apply. Really messed up teefers, body odor, too much cologne. please do not have poop on your shoes either.Hands that look prettier and more manicured than my own, wearing make up, pinky rings.... When it comes to conversation please think before you speak. If you thought for a minute that there was a spark between us, that doesnt mean you should get over zealous about telling me about your secret Lego obsession, how you like to color in coloring books, that you took dance as a child or that you cant wait to go see the newest Twilight movie..somethings should just wait to be talked about. Trust me, i will hold off on telling you that i am a professional kitchen dancer or that i like to eat chocolate with my fried chicken or that sometimes i dream of being a dinosaur. These are things i will spare from you til at least our third date! You also probably should hold off on any topic that might make you cry and/or punch something. this may include but is not limited to: an ex, the loss or disappearance of a family member, politics, religion and childhood obesity. Please do not show up at my house in a car that has been overly pimped out and/or with the bass pumping. I stopped thinking this car phase was cool shortly after the release of the second Fast and the Furious movie (I didnt love the movie Tyrese, but i still love you!) With that said, however... a working vehicle of any sort is better than a car that has a bad break system. Or that is being held togehter by duct tape. Also, if you are not capable of paying your utility bills please do not invite me over for dinner if the lights are going to go out. Consequently do not be surprised when i stop calling you because of it. I know that kind of stuff happens but if you are not going to own up to it or be funny about it, its not cool and makes me question your capability of living as an adult! Dont hold my hand during the movie on the first date. Dont be super cheesy either. Girls might be more romantic than most guys but were not 5 either. There is a large majority of us that think pookey bear is not an appropriate nickname espcially on teh first date and if alcohol is not involved. On the other hand, while its nice to be a gentleman sometimes girls want the rough around the edges guy. Dont be a dick but if you think there is something there damnit go in for that kiss at the end of the date, make a move! Let me be clear, whatever girl put it in your head that women dont like to kiss on the first date only said that because she didnt like you. If were into you were gonna want to kiss you. DUH!<br /><br />Lastly and most importantly, do not date me if you have a girlfriend. Even if you are not sure about the girl you have been seeing that doesnt give you a right to hurt me and her at the same time. Dont be a jerk. Sure, this notion may have been hightened by reality tv addiction i.e. The Bachelorette, but Ali deserves better Justin and to-be-named-next-episode- guy. You two are jerks!<br /><br />ok- well now that i probably wont ever have another first date again. have a good day! go suck on some lemons. the End.<br />Love, Me Mousepants!Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-88720912378551903042010-06-22T22:26:00.002-04:002010-06-22T23:06:33.089-04:00road rage rantDear drivers,<br /> Two lane roads are usually depicted by a dashed line down the center of them. When these lines dont exist sometimes there is a sign allowing the formation of two lanes of traffic. When neither of these exist its a one lane road. By one lane i mean, ONE. UNO. not one and a half, not two that merges into one (because there is a sign for that too). So stop spazzing out behind me because im blocking your way. Truth is, i could sense your ridiculous- pain-in-the-ass-road-rage-attitude 100 feet back when you were tailing me so i decided to block your way. Had you been a nice human being with a sensible urgency to work in the morning but with perhaps a smile on your face, i may have considered pulling my car slihgtly over into the distressed road side to give you enough room to squeeze by. Moving on.... to the drivers who do not participate in the courtesy wave... you can go to H-E double hockey sticks. at 5:15pm after a long Monday im in just as much of a hurry to get home as most others and getting out of downtown is no easy task. If you would like to move over from your lane to mine because maybe you forgot the correct lane you needed to be in, or maybe you are new to this traffic pattern, visiting for the day etc..., maybe you tried to beat a red light to expedite your travels and now your approaching your on ramp too quickly and fear you will miss the chance to get over...whatever the case may be im usually the one to let people over. I dont mind really. I believe in good road karma. All i ask is for the wave. The thank you. the nod in the rear view mirror to ackowledge that i just let you basically cut me in line. If you neglect this gesture i will undoubtedly curse you and call you names, i may even mock you, and share a delighted wave to you accompanied by a thumbs up.Then- To Buses and Semi trucks, moving vans and all else bigger than my hatchback. Just because your vehicle is larger than mine does not give you grounds to drive like a moron. use your mirrors for crying out loud. your blind spot is going to be a little bigger than mine so please double check before you run me off the road. Also, turn signals are not an engineering device. They are quite easy to use. so Use them. For people who have road rage and take it out on nice drivers. Like when you honk your horn at a person who waited 5 seconds to accelorate when the light turned green UNNECESARY! Or to the person who screams and shouts at the person going the speed limit not only because its the limit by law but also because there is another car in front of them also going slower but you cant see theothe other person so instead you act like an insensative and assuming dillweed. to the business man in the beamer that in rush hour traffic, when clearly there has been an accident and we must all merge over to the left lanes, he thinks now is his chance to high tail it up the right lane as far as it goes and some one will let him over way up there...too all of you and so many others, when i see this sort of thing happen i will take sides. If i can block you from getting over, i will. <br />Lets see- what else.... Loud base is over rated kids, give it a rest already. And if that is your thing that you like to do ---two things 1)make sure you can at least hear if a fire truck is coming.2) after 9pm, have some respect for your neighbors and turn it down. <br />Oh and Miss Perky Pixi Dust girlie goober with the big sunglasses on... smoking, talking on the phone and driving in rush hour is a recipe for disaster. You would think that you would want to take better care of the car that your DAddy undoubtedly bought for you.<br />Mergers. Whether its 8am or 2pm it doesnt matter. its the same concept at any time of day. You have to be somewhat agressive while also being considerate of the highway drivers. Dont be the person that merges at a ridiculously slow pace inevitably only merging because you have run out of room. It causes accidents. Not only do you confuse the people riving 30 mph faster than you on the freeway but the fellow mergers behind you are also put at risk.Also, dont be the merger that goes from the on ramp to the third lane over in 3 seconds with no signaling... you also cause accidents and you are jerks. But with all that said.... highway drivers... just because the sign says THEY have to merge, THINK. If you are capable of moving over to another lane, do so. If you can tell that there are 3 cars merging on and there is no room between you and the car in front of you, begin to make room by slowing down! <br />Ok that is all... <br /><br />To the drivers that use their turn signal, who dont drive too slow but feel no need to go so fast, to those who confidently drive in the cleveland snow without being stupid or daring, to the drivers that have let me over in the past, and the ones that let me out of the parking lot after i have bene waiting for 10 minutes, drivers that use the courtesy wave, that dont have excessive rear view mirror ornaments... thank you so much! <br />And have a good day drivers!<br />Love, Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-11898947620663582502010-06-15T13:45:00.001-04:002010-06-16T15:39:14.706-04:00FootballDear Football,<br />Bust out the nachos, have Anne bring the sausage dip, light the grill and burn some meat, grab some chips, put on my jersy and pour me a beer. from my sofa on a hot summers day watching you from the comfort of my air conditioned living room... on a cold, super cold, Cleveland winter day in the safeness of my basement party palace...... Rain, snow, sleet, wind, heat....Then of course the cool crisp fall days.... not just any fall days but in particular the lazy Sundays that beg the question, what else is there to do, but WATCH FOOTBALL!Tailgating, foam fingers, hot chocolates, drunk people, tight football pants, delicious specimens of tall, dark and handsome men sporting masculine ink down their arms, sports announcers, and for the devoted Cleveland Browns fan there is no anthem quite as charming as "Who Let the Dogs Out". Instant replays and heart felt cheering. Best of all the excitement of the slow motion replay 5 times over to see if he is in or not. a great reason to throw a party or an even better reason to talk back to the television when you are watching alone.<br /> If it werent enough to love watching the game, i love to play it too. But not just any pick up game of football will i play. I like my Saturday football days. There is nothing like them. Grab the stanky sports bag, if it hasnt already been baking in your trunk since last saturday. Clap the dried mud from your cleats. the smelly, yet much needed, recieveing gloves get pulled from the damp depths of your bag. gatorade, water... both to hydrate you while playing and likely to nurse others from their hangovers (you know who you are fellas!)i start drinking beer at half time. big plays, long passes on that first drive, gender plays, shovel passes, the occassional nipple shot, creative team names, refs that walk a fine line between just being refs and wanting to be much much more with all the ladies, bad calls, broken fingers,blisters and pulled muslces, my ultimate favorite - the tip toe sideline catches, playing in the mud, playing in the rain, or playing a tournament in 90 degree sun drenched heat.Guys that re-hash every play of every game and girls that dont, friends and foes, bros and hoes, one game or 4 depending on who needs more players. Then there comes the all day after party at the bar post playing time.Patio drinking time, pitchers, stoli-Os, the best spiked apple cider ever.... and no Saturday would be complete without the joy of Edisons pizza! the honey...mmm, its all about that honey!!!<br /> A long day of drinking makes going out on a Saturday night difficult and any hope for a productive Sunday down right impossible. <br />I may not know all the rules of the sport, i may not know the individual players' stats, or remember a play from a previous game. I dont wear a helmet and i dont wear pads. But i know what it feels like to play. I know what it feels like to win or to watch my team win. I know how to drink and i enjoy it. I know that when football season starts its right around my birthday and when it ends its just about Valentines Day. <br />Oh my dearest football, i KNOW I am a fan!<br />Love, Me Mousepants<br />P.S. I am also a fan of Futbol. Just saying.Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-66502790359920873292010-06-01T11:52:00.001-04:002010-06-02T17:10:50.784-04:00ChildhoodDear childhood,<br /> I miss you. If i had a penny for everytime an adult had told me growing up to take advantage of being young i would, first of all, be a millionaire, and secondly, id be called a good listener. Clearly i was not keen on that advice and even at the tender age of 7 i dreamt of being an adult. I can specifically remember my best friend and I came up with Grown-up Fridays. I think this all started when because when we were just about 7 was when we were allowed to walk by ourselves to our corner store. before i go any further let me paint you a picture of this store because it was a staple of my childhood. Shout out to Shafts Grocery!!!!! A quaint little shop that somehow fit everything you would possibly need into a 600 square foot space built in an old house. Conveniently located in a manner where i could walk care free though a few backyards and be there lickety split! The owners knew us. It didnt take much to thrill us either, a dollar went a long way. Sometimes it was a "juicy" which was that ridiculously sweet high fructose corn syrup mixed with the flavor of fruit punch or my favorite which was some sort of pineapple concoction in a green container or sometimes it was a bag of chips and some candy. Any way you sliced it, this store saw me ATLEAST twice a week, if not every day after school. In the case of Grown up Fridays we would go up there and purchase a bottle of birch beer (it was in a glass bottle closely resembling that of actual beer)and a pack of candy cigarettes, i preferred the hard candy white cigarettes as opposed to the ones my friends liked that "smoked" when you blew them. They were gum, and they were gross. Ironically, even though i thought the idea of gum cigarettes that blew out sugary dust were gross i later became an actual smoker which is even more disgusting!! Anyhoot- So my friend and i would take our birch beer and candy cigarettes to the ditch at the end of our street which was adjacent to the "woods". A scary neverending mob of trees and shrubery to a 7 year old that now i realize just seperated our neighborhood from the next, and is no big deal. We hand made our own version of fishing poles from sticks and twine that we stole from my parents storage shed. So there we would sit "fishing" from the ditch with our beer and cigarettes, because thats what grownups do on Fridays(duhh!)! How simple it was. And when the street lights came on we knew it was time to go inside. And if we didnt promptly return home with the hum and orange hew of the street lights glow... my mom would whitsle from the front porch so that towns in Utah could hear! <br />Today i worked the standard 8 hours, i paid rent and a car payment that made my checking account go from yay to nay with a quickness. I took my medication in the morning and made sure i let out the dog. I put gas in my car, thank goodness! I went to lunch with a salesman. I worried about my health and the health of others close to me. I tried to make plans for future weeks to come. I missed my parents and wrote to my mom. i dropped my cell phone and hapily gasped when i saw it was still working because i dont have the money to replace it. I clipped swome coupons. i read the paper and took note of my horoscope. I thought about my yard and what i would plant to make it more appealing to visitors. I stamped teh mail and loaded the dishwasher. I will do laundry tonight and get ready for tomorrow which will undoubtedly bring much of the same.... and on Friday if i were to have a beer and some cigarettes with my friends i would only have a few because id have to worry about how i was going to get home. Id regret the smoking the next day when i pulled at the wrinkles at the corners of my eyes.<br /><br /> Its not too far fetched for me to say, maybe i will go home and have some milk and cookies and do some coloring in front of the television instead. Oh childhood, how i miss you!<br />love, Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-72906180494869721422010-05-27T14:29:00.002-04:002010-05-27T14:47:28.950-04:00Dear Tuesday FollowersDear Tuesday Followers,<br /> Do not think that i have forgotten about you. I apologize if the lack of new material this week angered you or left you lost with no reason to go on (and yes, i like to believe that there are people out there that depend on my blog to live). Please do not fret my pets, i have not left you, i have not given up! Rather, i procrastinated much like most of my highschool and college career and when Tuesday came i asked myself, "self!... do you want to ponder on a topic for hours? or would you rather go out and enjoy this splendidily sunny and warm summer-like day in Cleveland and hope that your faithful readers will understand?" It is clear which answer myself liked best. As a Clevelander i am all too familiar with the inconsistencies of our weather. For all i know it may snow this weekend, or a tornado might sweep me away next week. Who knows. But on Tuesday the sun was shining. I mean really shining. It hurt even through the sun glasses. I got upper lip sweat instantaly just walking outside! People were high off the sunbeams. The air smelled like fresh cut grass and neioghbors i didnt even know i had were out tending to their yards (just to be clear thats a lot of people because i dont really know many of my neightbors. Apparently the era of fresh baked pies and cookies or home made casseroles for new neighbors has passed and instead we only exchange the casual wave in passing by.sad really) At any rate.... the weather is too nice, the sun makes me too happy to sit and be encumbered by blog topics. I assure you i will try harder at pleasing you readers in the following weeks but for now i must go enjoy the new start of the summer season and i encourage you to step away from teh computer as well and enjoy for yourself. <br />Love, Me Mousepants!Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-36601533741905654082010-05-18T16:50:00.003-04:002010-05-18T17:06:22.005-04:00Ten minutesDear the-next-ten-minutes-of-my-life-in-thought, (4:49pm)<br /> Do you realize how important punctuation is today... i mean with all the social networking websites and texting alone, you really have to be up on your commas and periods... In no way shape or form am i saying you need to be an english major but to those of you reading --there is a SERIOUS difference between the following: Cool! Cool. COOL Cool :) cool? cool<br />Why do the erasers on the tops of pencils seldom work? Kind of an evil concept if you ask me. You give me this utensil made for the purpose of being able to "easily" correct my mistakes but you dont give me the tool to do so. Writing is so much like life huh...your mistakes never actually go away...you can always see it behind the residue like a little reminder of what you did wrong. Ouch.<br />What exactly is the secret behind ranch dressing that makes every single kind just a little different. Seriously a good ranch dressing could make or break a restaurant in my eyes. To date, just for the record, best ranch dressings are found at Max and Ermas, Teamz (out of business), and Alvies.. I am open to suggestions to lengthen my list but i mean seriously. A bit runny is always nice. Maybe some garlic or dill.. something a little extra. Just saying. <br /><br />Lemons. hahaha. <br /><br />Kleenex is really the best brand of facial tissue in my opinion. Imitation brands really heart the nostrils. I hate when my nose is raw. You know what other little pains i hate. Paper cuts. EVIL little bastards.. even worse when done with cardboard. Yikes. Or how about mosquito bites...but not just any ones the ones in teh webbing of your fingers or toes... grrrrr. canchor sores. (spelling?) burns. Hangnails. zits in your nose.... dont want to pick at them because they make you want to cry and then sneeze but you just GOT TO! stubbed toes....this wouldnt happen so much if i didnt shuffle my feet when i walk. Im lazy.<br /><br />Wine goes well with board games. Cigarettes are best enjoyed with cheap beer on Saturdays after football. Dont forget to brush your teeth. and lastly have a good evening<br /><br /> Love, Me Mouse Pants<br />(5:00pm)Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-76909308764566141112010-05-11T14:49:00.003-04:002010-05-11T16:33:25.279-04:00MomYou know that time at the highschool dances right when you are all sweaty from grinding and dancing all over the place...maybe you are tired from impressing your friends by doing the worm.... its then that the DJ dims the lights and in his best Barry White voice growls, "time to slow it down now" while some corny love song begins to play.... Its that time folks.... put your giggles aside for a few moments, take a deep breath and come away with me on a sappy little journey of emotion while i pay tribute to the Moms in my life. <br /><br />When i was of the ripe young age of 22 my parents decided to move away. My Dad got an amazing promotion but it meant that he had to move and the only house i have ever known was sold in an instant. I had to move out and quickly become an adult. Of course when you are 22 and living at home you WANT to move out right? WRONG. At the time i was sad. no more home cooked meals for ONE!!!!...and what if something bad happened, they would be 4 hours away???.... I guess its a little different when you HAVE to move out and you dont have the home sweet home you know of, filled with memories, and also filled with all your childhood belongings that coudlnt possibly fit into your apartment....When you dont have that to come home to every now and then, tis not so fun! I was less worried about what color combination to decorate the kitchen in and more concerned with my emotional state of mind.<br />Of course in the next year so many things happened. I quit a job, i got in a car accident, i nearly got my hand blown off by a firework, i got the flu, i had a bird in the house, i gained weight, i got a flat tire, heck, i even graduated from college. i learned a LOT. But, one of the greatest things i learned is that while my Mom is clearly the best mom on the planet and number one in my book, i have a lot of other moms to thank in her absence. <br /><br />Dear Moms (I mean birth moms, friends Moms- that you just call Mom, Aunts,Grandmas, Gay Uncles, best Friends, teachers, nurses, Counselors,random elders along the way, co-workers and pretty much anyone with big hearts and motherly tendancies,<br /> Thank you for all that you do. For the home cooked meals. (Mom food is the best food)Food is always better when someone else cooks it. Its even better when it comes from the heart and invovles cheese or starches and lots of fat! Thank you for the gauze, medical tape, advil, tylenol, flu medication, and occassional diagnoses of mysterious aches, pains and diseases (not excluding that of bad gas, simple bug bites, pms or even a broken heart). Thank you for teaching me over and over again how to tell when my chicken is cooked all the way through, and assuring me that i will not die from my yogurt being one day passed its expiration date. Thank you for asking me again and again where my coat is when i run through the front door shivering with just my hooded sweatshirt on. Thank you for putting a blanket over me when i fall asleep on the couch. Thank you for telling me i am pretty even though im sure i look like shit thats been run over by a tractor. Thank you for sending me home with leftovers. Thank you for giving me hugs. Thank you for always making sure i have toilet paper in the house. For reminding me to get gas. For making me an Easter basket. For sending me a birthday card. Thank you for being home and next to a computer when i call and ask for directions somewhere. Thank you for including me on the cheeseball e-mail forwards with angels and quotes that threaten me to send to everyone i know or else ill be cursed for the next 100 years. thank you for sometimes being annoying because i know that no matter how much i cant stand you wiggling your toes under my butt, or licking my nose, or grabbing my fat, or picnhing my cheeks.... no matter what... i would miss that. Thank you for being able to put your finger in the middle of the casserole and being able to tell me if its done or not, its a trait that i am convinced only Moms possess. Or the miraculous way you can tell if i have a fever by pressing your lips to my forehead. Thank you for learning how to text just because you know its a better way to communicate with me, i know you hate it. Thank you for doing my laundry when you come to visit and being the only person i know that can organize my closet with an hour to spare and a few baskets of extra hangers and a garbage bag. Thank you for teaching me how to get stains out of clothes. Thank you for cutting out coupons you think i need. Thank you for calling to check on me after a bad storm or to warn me of a storm. Thank you for having air conditioning in August when i didnt. Thank you for repairing my lost buttons and broken zippers. Thank you for telling me time and time again that i am amazing. Thank you for hating my ex boyfriends even though you loved them when we were together and then for assuring me that in time i will find the perfect guy for me. You not only take care of me, look out for me and understnad me, but you are always there for me and know exactly what to say when i need you the most. Thank you for everything!!!!<br /> The great thing about Moms, is that you never doubt how much they care about you. Even when you think you dont need them, you really do. you always will. To my Mom, and all the other Moms that have helped me along the way, thank you!<br />Love, Me Mouse Pants<br /><br />.....and yes, i cried while i wrote this.Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-28346191924494016812010-05-04T21:31:00.002-04:002010-05-04T21:48:17.515-04:00tuesdayDear Tuesday,<br />You have been a long...very long day. I tried to convince myself you were Friday but no matter how hard I tried you crept along at a snails pace secreting subtle yet turbulent truths that it was in fact only the second day of my work week. I am tired and would like to go to bed to create sweet dreams....the witty message that I have pondered for todays post will have to wait.Thanks a lot Tuesday.<br />Love, me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-44517882502260329612010-04-27T10:42:00.002-04:002010-04-27T15:41:32.218-04:00PinkDear Pink,<br />I never used to like you pink... so girlie. Barbies wear pink, they even drive a pink corvette, WHO BUYS A PINK CAR?... i mean really, unless you sell Mary Kay, its unnecesary. New born baby girls wear pink, mom and dad probably do this just to convince cheek pinchers that their baby is in fact a girl other than just a new born neutra-sex alien, which is what most babies look like, though no one ever says so...Its, ok- I'll be that person!<br />Yep.... i used to associate pink with all things girl, and for whatever reason even though i am a girl, that color just really ticked me off. To me it was weak.... It was bland- like toast without anything fattening smeared on top....just icky. UNTIL TODAY. When thinking about what to write about today i simply asked a good friend of mine what her favorite color was... she said PINK!!! So i stopped and thought a moment. Is there anything cool that is pink?<br />Well my friends like the great large-mouth-rockstar Steven Tyler once said "You can be my flamingo cuz pink is the new kind of lingo" (yah i dont really know what that means either but roll with it)<br />some cool pink stuff-<br />a perfectly cooked center of a steak, bubblegum, old scars, sunburn, salmon, breast cancer awareness ribbons, the singer, lucious lips, pigs, the Pink Panther, cotton candy,pepto bismol, amazon river dolphins, Pink Floyd, pink lemonade, expensive diamonds, roses, Portuguese Man-of-War (eat that barbie!), beach glass, conch shells, pinky fingers and pinky toes (why do we call them that anyway?), hot dogs, lingerie, early sunrise skies and sailor's delight evenings, rose fiestaware, sprinkles, human muscles, pink iguanas, tuesdays in Thailand, the french academic dress for those who graduated in the field of medicine (thank you google), The Pink Ladies<break into any song from Grease now>, Pretty in Pink, a symbol of joy and happiness, the playboy bunny, Jem's hair, "girls in white dresses with pink satan sashes", blushing because you are embarrassed, blush makeup in case you are pale and need color, blush wine, undercooked bacon, Nigel's belly, kitten's noses, erasers, the kind of sucker you always choose when you dont know what flavor it will be!<br />then of course there is also pink eye...but thats not even an ounce of cool. <br />So my dearest pink i guess you are not so bad. <br />never have i racked my brain so diligently in a day over a color. Perhaps tomorrow i shall ponder on purple... who knows!<br />The End.<br />Love, Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-74432940241020566842010-04-20T16:20:00.000-04:002010-04-20T16:22:39.657-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbEbflN1BJTfYjghH8qNVR2KZaEcRclDguTvc2Z4VB0g3LPyRWonhqlveveuQsVSe8CpkKjEPsJ7r46ga2L1Zlo4iyW7_O-hRJWLdpwz5IFoEcrRTO4Ld0A8X8OZr1ZdqPIsYpw1Zn36dP/s1600/365+2010+4+16"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbEbflN1BJTfYjghH8qNVR2KZaEcRclDguTvc2Z4VB0g3LPyRWonhqlveveuQsVSe8CpkKjEPsJ7r46ga2L1Zlo4iyW7_O-hRJWLdpwz5IFoEcrRTO4Ld0A8X8OZr1ZdqPIsYpw1Zn36dP/s320/365+2010+4+16" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462317582094233010" /></a><br /> April 19, 2010Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-56586635904862816272010-04-20T14:49:00.002-04:002010-04-20T16:12:20.883-04:00Wind FarmDear Wind energy,<br />I remember summer days being a little girl dressed peculiarly in a summer jumper, usually made of terricloth or velvet, whatever sort of fabric was undeniable hideous, heavy, and of the trend. Hot days that, at my age now, would send me into a tizzy and also into the air conditioning, then only captivated me and sent me outdoors to play in the buttercups. I remember having this red foil pinwheel. I dont know where i got it. It was probably all but a dollar. THe front was red and the back was sparkling silver and there was a glitter nob in the middle and it sat atop a sturdy black stick. I remember being so fascinated by how the wind could magically propel its glitening blades. I took it over to my sandbox, its borders cleverly made by an old tractor tire. My sandbox was my retreat. After plucking the buttercup flowers of which i played in early in the day, i would "plant" them in my sand box. Sometimes when i went out to eat at some fancy restaurant like.... Bob Evans, I would take the parsely from my plate (parsely makes it fancy), stash it in my pocket, and go home and plant the parsely in my sand box as well. Usually in well manicured rows, like a veteran farmer. Only if a farmer would reside in my farming world he would be small, like a leprachaun (he probably hid stolen socks in the barn) and he would be pissed that i was planting crops in sand. Anyhow, i proudly erected my pinwheel right on the outskirts of my miniature farm, it blew freely in the wind. Not only did it seem aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but it seemed to complete the farm and provide life and energy to its surroundings. <br />Little did i know that when i was 6 i was on the verge of creating a "wind farm". Now 21 years later here i am reading an article that our Great Lake Erie may play host to a "never been done before" project of off shore wind turbines. Imagine, a set of giant pinwheels, far less glittery, but nevertheless providing joy to millions in the form of kinetic energy. You know that feeling when you see an as- seen-on-tv gadget that seems all to easy to create but BRILLIANT, you think to yourself, "i swear i thought of that", or "why didnt i think of that"...dare i say i should have one of those moments when looking back on my sandbox and pinwheel... maybe its a stretch! <br />From pinwheels over looking my parsely to turbines looking over Cleveland, wind energy... i welcome you! <br />Love, Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-54333855238171756622010-04-13T13:28:00.004-04:002010-04-21T10:47:04.465-04:00Funny wordsDear funny words,<br /> People always say most words are funny or lose all there meaning if you say them enough. True. But some words, really only need me to say them once and i giggle. Some of my favorite words:<br />Gerbil, Schnitzel, Fog, Swank, Jello, Onomotopoeia, barf, wiggle, fanny, phlegm, uvula, aglet, poodle, pocket, bucket, dribble, Uranus, zebra, pizazz, trickle, dinky, dingy, crock, sternocleidomastoid, pneumonia, fuzz, smear, schmuck, Tegucigalpa, rutabaga, pumpernickle, crack, poop, Machu Pichu, fungi, lippy, masticate, probability, hooka, and thorn...<br /><br />Sure, these are only some of my faves, to each their own, i am sure! But the point is, sometimes a bad day is only a sentence or two away from being the most hilarious thing ever! <br /><br />The fuzzy gerbil from Tegucigalpa and the lippy zebra from Uranus set down their schnitzel and jello right before they barfed their phlegm, from way back beyond their uvulas, right into the swank face of the poodle named Pizazz. <br /><br />just an example.<br />The End.<br />Love, Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-82954162934878359562010-04-06T13:04:00.000-04:002010-04-06T14:47:08.123-04:00Great Lakes Christmas AleDear Great Lakes Christmas Ale,<br /> You are the most tantalizing delicious example of evilness that exists. You lure drinkers in with your limited time only- bitter beer ...robust with cinnamon and nutmeg flavors consistent with the Christmas name. Spicy, sweet, cold, and comforting. But what even the seasoned drinker seems to overlook is the potency of said treat. Its no lite beer. AFter one, you get chatty. Stories become bigger and better than before. After two, Inappropriate text messages start and you are pretty much done for. If you make it to three, your mind will get foggy and tomorrow is going to be a rough day. When someone tells you they had Christmas Ale the night before you can be sure there is a good story to follow! Teeth get knocked out, people dance on bars, people that should never dance, do and bad decisions are often made! <br />Clevelanders know....we look forward to it. Myself, like many more, find out the realease day (Usually the first week of novemeber) and when that day comes its a race to see who has it on tap and what stores are selling it. Of course during Christmas its important to consume Christmas Ale when you can because it runs out so quickly. But sometimes.... just sometimes... there is some lonely bar in the middle of no where that has some in April. I should warn you that when you find said place that has 6 Christmas Ales left to sell, that doesnt mean YOU HAVE TO drink ALL 6. just saying....And when you are really lucky, you are able to celebrate Christmas in July at your local pub that saved a keg just for that occassion!Its an addiction, a past time that every Clevelander is well aware of. Even if you dont like it, you know about it. When i see that label of Christmas ornament bulbs, my face lights up! So to Great Lakes Brewery, Thank you for such a treat! The fact that its hard to find only makes it taste better when i do. And TO consumers, be careful and enjoy!<br />Love, Me MousepantsMe Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-2468176555177934182010-03-30T22:18:00.002-04:002010-03-30T22:39:33.799-04:00Dear Funerals,dog poop on your shoe, burns, papercuts, hang nails, dirty snow, smelly farts that make you gag, flat tires, runny noses, stuffy heads, allergic reactions, anxiety, having a crush on someone and finding out they dont feel the same way about you, dentist appointments, zits, hot flashes, running out of toilet paper at the wrong time, twisted ankles, the feeling you get when your team loses, valentines day without a boyfriend....any holiday without a boyfriend, finding out you are one egg short of a recipe when you are already more than half way through, long days at work, sun burn, mean words, stubbed toes, traffic jams, stupid drivers, hot days with no air conditioning, cole winters with high gas bills, bills in general, corn stuck in your teeth, ripped jeans, sterotypes, dust, putting away clean clothes after doing laundry, hangovers, guilt, kids on leashes, babys in bars, stains, the smell of worms after it rains, blisters, being told you are wrong, over achiever kiss ass people, nails on a chalkboard, 2 star days, bad table manners, sloppy kisses, bad teeth, nose hairs, pens that dont write well, expired food, losing lottery tickets, screaming/crying babies, feeling fat, pickles, toads, snakes, bees, mosquito bites, shaving, and so much more...<br />I am not a fan.<br />Love, me Mouse Pants.Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134923765854921617.post-15944784833508526972010-03-23T14:42:00.004-04:002010-03-23T14:53:06.502-04:00360 Days of Doodles as of March 22, 2010<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh65EVVNO53ppxh7PIRJXqfPUfZUsxL9ZEQLCFcGq2rWJ5N-wuKK2rXmSqwsC0_Dne_j1z_5AgdQVaQC8LqBHswr0PyeD1SW6sP1WEfGcXJfSkcY2esqBWKBQBLhOlAMj0sAFoaHTYZ0Q9q/s1600-h/3-22-2010+doodles"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh65EVVNO53ppxh7PIRJXqfPUfZUsxL9ZEQLCFcGq2rWJ5N-wuKK2rXmSqwsC0_Dne_j1z_5AgdQVaQC8LqBHswr0PyeD1SW6sP1WEfGcXJfSkcY2esqBWKBQBLhOlAMj0sAFoaHTYZ0Q9q/s320/3-22-2010+doodles" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451901613432114706" /></a><br /><br /> drawing every single day gets to be boring. I havent drawn anything great YET! Last night i just blindly squiggled holding a black pencil. Good times. i think August will be a turning point. To be continued!Me Mouse Pantshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11631215533324632662noreply@blogger.com0