A Sock Stealing Leprachaun Lives in My Dryer!

Dear Little Leprachaun,
I have never seen you and some may think that is basis enough to say you do not exist, but i say NAY to those people..... I AM CONVINCED THAT YOU EXIST! I imagine your living qaurters to be warm and cozy (obviously)located somewhere behind the tumbling arena where i load my dampened wardrobe. I bet you sleep peacefully to the sounds of a steady thump and vibration as the appliance warms and wiggles, doing its drying job. I wonder though... at what point in your peaceful habitation do you decide to descend into the dark dryer and cleverly steal my socks? Do you have some fluffy cloud-like bed made from my foot huggers hiding somewhere back there? Do you carry them back to your unknown homeland where human socks can be used as currency for which you must be plenty rich?.... and even if either of those outlandish hypothesis were true, why o why must you only steal one of the pair? For crying out loud wee little lephrachaun theif, take them both or do not take them at all!!
May i suggest stealing the chapsticks that i so often leave in my pockets in stead. They are never quite the same after being washed and dryed but i bet they would do wonders for your chapped little leprachaun lips!Just saying...
I dont think you know what its like to settle for wearing one polka dot sock and one striped sock to work.... all day long i am plagued with the thought of my mis matched tootsies. I am sure we can come to an agreement of some sort. If its the joy of watching me run around like a fool trying to find my socks mate, that you like..please consider that i do many other stupid things on a daily basis that you might be interested in witnessing. I also think you have friends that live in mail boxes too, usually blamed for lost mail and un paid bills. Maybe you want to go hang out with them for a while, take a vacation?
Or perhaps i could feed you some lucky charms, i mean who doesnt like those little dryed marshmallows?

Love,
Me Mouse Pants