Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dear Tuesday

Dear Tuesday-
Its been a long day. But here i am. I have had a strange request this week. It will not surprise you that this strange request came out of mid day drinking on the patio after a long football Saturday. Stranger things have happened on Saturday football days. This request, nay....let me say CHALLENGE, was to sucessfully write an entertaining blog based solely on two topics.. 1) Jenny, a good friend and boisterous young lady of whom i met during what else??..... Football. and 2)seafood, or more specifically scalloping. How on Earth is Mousepants going to do this, you may be asking yourself. But my dearest Tuesday, i will not disappoint. I have decided to paint a verbal picture to you of what it may be like for Jenny to go scalloping.

Its a beautiful tropic day and a light breeze blows off the ocean water and leaves salt on your skin. Jenny is just finishing up her morning cigarette with a tall glass of yingling, it makes no difference that it is before noon. She goes insides to prepare for her scalloping day. She liberally sprays on some SPF 50. Her fair skin can take no more sunburn. She makes two peanut butter sandwhiches on hot dog buns. To make it on white bread seems too predictable and let me assure you the hot dog bun sammys taste better anyway. She packs a cooler of beer, grabs her sunglasses and smokes and heads out for her adventure. Its smoldering outside. she is sweating and already craving her next brewski. If there are friends of hers on this adventure be ready for her boisterous entrance that may include but is not limited to, screaming, butt smacking, sarcastic put downs, hugs, kisses or chest bumps. The snorkel and goggles smooosh her little cheeks. the water is warm and welcomes her and the rest of her scalloping clan with open arms. the ocean doesnt really have arms but if it did, it would hug Jenny, im sure of it. Jenny would bob around on the top of the water, her butt in teh air like a bobber on a fishing line. She would aggressively dive down to reach her scallops. She would have it no other way than to be agressive because thats just how she is. I imagine she woudl reach the top and forget her snorkel is full of water and inevitably choke on nasty sea water. This would make her mad. At that point Jenny would have had enough scalloping. She would slowly retreat to the sand where she would enjoy a beer, a peanut butter sammich, and a cigarette while she watches and undoubtedly makes fun of the others butts floating on the water. For Jenny is not a scalloper but indeed a football player and before that even a beer drinker, a funny person and a good friend.
Now if you are looking for a good scalloper, call Jodie.

So... thats how its done.
Mousepants SINGING OFF! BAM!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Dear people that make me happy!

Dear Whoever is listening:
No need for me to over dramatize anything today or dive deeply into any heated topics. In the time that I have been away from my blog I have had a ton of awesome moments, a couple of first kisses followed by some new bruises on the old ticker. I have had some embarrassing moments. I have been sick. But more notably than anything, I have been happy. So today id like to pick on the people that make me happy because i know deep down inside, they like being talked about! Here is why you guys make me happy.

My brother has been my roommate for ohhhhhhhhhhhhh almost 28 years and wouldn’t you know it, i still like the guy. There is something to be said about a brother/sister/roommate relationship that can last that long. He makes me happy because he answers my stupid questions usually without a roll of the eye. He also eats so healthy from the hours of 8am to 9pm.. After that he is capable of consuming a number of unhealthy treats but usually its as simple as finishing off a container of Jif with a spoon! Makes me happy.

My Mom is a character. She has a way of using the same words or stories over and over again and then I find myself using them later on. Grrrr. She can organize anything. When she makes my bed I sleep better. And don’t even get me started on her food! Mom makes me extremely happy.

My Dad tells the best stories, mostly because he gets himself involved in some good stories. He tells good jokes. He swears when necessary. He reminds me a lot of his Dad only with smaller ears. He takes me fishing. He teaches me stuff. He is probably the best man on the planet. So obviously, he makes me happy.

Jaclyn. I mean she is my "person". I sometimes dont get why exactly we are best friends when she is so classy, intelligent and stylish...that is, until we hang out and can have a great day eating cheese cubes in our sweat pants watching tv and being completely idiotic. When they ask me on an emergency form who to contact that is not family... insert Jaclyn's name there. She has crazy OCDs that make me laugh. And She has pretty hands. She makes me happy.

Lucas. Because he makes jaclyn happy.

Gretchen is a free spirit. My favorite thing about her is that we tend to go off on the most random topics and get trapped in one of those laughing epidemics. I love it. When Gretchen is happy, it makes me happy.

Lauren and Ryan- They make me feel like family. If i were to fall down and break a leg, Ryan would make sure i am ok and Lauren would go into Mom mode. She'd first call mark, and then probably Jaclyn... because she just KNOWS! Then when i am ok we would go get some ice cream! They are nerdy and sporty and we share a love of under armor. Plus they are so in love. Seeing the two of them happy together just makes me smile and having their friendship makes me uber happy!

Anne- makes great sausage dip and can conjure up a mood lifting lecture on a whim. Plus she is little. I want to keep her in my pocket.
Sarah- she is friends who whoever she wants to be friends with. She hangs out on her own terms. She is the best event planner I know! She stays away from drama and always always knows how to have a good time
Kelly- she bakes stuff with alcohol in it. Enough said.
Annie- her laugh
Jodie- just funny. And a great football player!
Christine and Stacy- dynamic duo of awesomesauce. Impossible to not smile when they are around.
Robert the animal- gives the best hugs and grows awesome facial hair. Whats not to love?
Brian- sweetheart with a strong liver. I trust him more than id like to admit.
Jon- just funny. Always goes above and beyond when it comes to team jerseys or uniforms!
Computer Guy- he is cute and bald, need I say more?
The people I work with. I like to think of the attorneys I work for a lot like the 7 dwarfs only there are like 10 of them. They each have a characteristic but I love them regardless. Witty, Sneezy, Screamy, Professor, Jokester, etc etc….
Jill- she is the straight A student, the OCD, the best nails, the best cake, the best parties, the top dawg!
Meg- fixes everything.
Karen- best boss . She makes me feel like home when im around her and I can tell her just about anything!
Joe Thomas- because he loves Cleveland and he looks GOOOOOD in Cleveland.
Jason- he is the best texter plus he loves scary movies and superheros.
Sammi Butler- most talented young girl I have ever met. She is my personal therapist. And she kicks POTS’ butt.
Megan- One of my best friends. Just an over all good human being with a warm loving personality and the most accepting fun loving family! The world could use a few more Megans.
Brittany- She gives good compliments and always makes me feel good about myself.
Mary- she may talk about herself 90% of the time but when you really need her for that other 10% she is there for you without question.
Jose- I don’t talk to him as much as id like but he is still my superman.
Adam S.
Mike the concession stand guy in my building.
The ladies at planned parenthood.
Zac Brown.
The people who invented post it notes, the microwave, air conditioning and beer.
Berea High Marching Band
My parking guys.
Dave and Kathy
Jan and Ken

Ok there are probably 10,000 people I am forgetting. But my point is, I have a lot of people in my life that make me happy. Try to focus on that once in a while. See what you can come up with!

Bam! Mousepants signing off!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Tuesdays are back and Life will work out!

It was a Saturday afternoon, after fotball (of course). I was with the team at our favorite watering hole just "monkeying around" when a friend of mine stopped up to see us. She doesnt come around often and doesnt play football so getting to see her is always a treat! We usually talk about our dogs and dream about Ben and Jerry's ice cream (she likes chubby hubby, and fish food), and that day was no different... Except after those conversations were done, and about 2 pitchers of cheap beer later, and screaming over the loud music, we got to talking about life. She was telling me a story about a past relationship of hers and we baffled in thinking of how much different her life would be right now if that had actually worked out. She smiled... her ridiculously pretty smile... and told me that life has its way of working out and assured me it wasnt necessary for us to worry about it so much! Holy guacamole batman! Never ever was i expecting on a cold winters day after football to be drinking beer at a bar and also getting probably the best advice ever at a time in my life when i needed to hear it most. Of course that revelation didnt come to me until almost a week later. And has since, brought me back here. For months my blog sat stagnant, as did i , without anything passionate to write about. Its funny...inspiration often presents itself in the most random of ways.

With all that said.... Dear Tuesdays,
I am back. and life WILL work out. Break ups happen, and they suck. Whether they happen on a tuesday or on Valentines day, it hurts. Sometimes your jeans don't fit the way you want them to. Sometimes that fit is your fault and sometimes it's the pants, damnit. So what if you want to eat an extra cookie, eat it! Guess what... it snows in Cleveland in April. But in case you forgot, sometimes its 70 degrees in October too. Men have hearts (contrary to popular belief) and girls can be cruel.
Worrying about my pants size, how many cookies i eat, the weather, the long drive , traffic, and more often than not...if i will ever find prince charming, is only taking up time and energy. time and energy i could be putting into working out, listening to music in the car and pretending to be a professional singer, enjoying a pretty snowfall even if it its in June, or going out on bad dates that make for good stories. My friend is right, its time to stop worrying, Life has a way of working itself out.
Thank you friend.

Me Mousepants

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Dear Autumn

Dear Autumn,
I wake in the morning in a shivering cold wrapped tight like a fajita in the warmth of my comforter like its my toasty tortilla. Because of the shorter days the 6 am hour shows no sign of sun yet. My window is wide open and the cool fall air meanders through the room and dances with my curtains taunting my sleepy and confused pup. I just want to stay snuggled up in bed. When the sun decides to wake up with me, it yawns and stretches through ominous clouds. They are big, bubbly, and a deep beautiful grey, if grey can even be considered beautiful.
There is something so particular about a fall day. The sound of crispy fallen leaves that scurry across the sidewalk, and that get caught under my heavy feet.The smell of nature or better yet, the smell of autumn treats...pumpkin pie, baked apples, warm casseroles, caramel apples,apple cider, the last of your gardens vegetables, stews and soups, pies and more! Pumpkins, Mums and corn stalks begin to decorate local neighborhoods only until the season allows for the turn to Jack-o-lanters, cob webs, and creepy ornamentation! The afternoon temperature is perfect allowing me to fully enjoy my cozy hooded sweatshirt and worn in jeans.Or should the day allow it, perhaps a friendly game of football is in order. If not to play- then to watch. The end of baseball, the best of football and the preseason start of basketball!
When the night falls haunted houses call. Hayrides. Mazes. Pumpkin Patches and ghost stories. And i cant forget the glory of fall television! Welcome back good tv!!!
When the stars play peek-a-boo in the midnight sky my comfy tortilla welcomes me home and cradles me nicely once again. I turn the television on to a new favorite show and my wound up puppy comes to join my fajita party! My day dreams turn into bedtime stories to help me fall asleep. Day afer day these fall days paint a smile on my face with its warm color pallette and delicious taste creations!
Autumn, you make buying school supplies fun and haunted houses worth looking forward to. You make apples delectable treats and dead leaves into beautiful pictures and kids wonderlands. You make me want to cuddle. You make me want to eat.
Dear Autumn, i love you. Thank you!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Empty stomach. Cheesy involuntary smile painted across my face. The urge to sway back and forth and sing motown songs or Glee music at the top of my lungs. Dancing. Figiting. Toe tapping. did i mention that stupid childish grin still painted on my face. Ocassional blushing and flushing. Giggles and Fog. Did someone just ask me a question? Trembling hands. Its like my body is being taken over by the bubblies of a freshly opened can of soda! I feel like I could run a marathon..... or throw up , im not sure which will come first! Im pretty sure my arm pits are sweating. Yep, i just checked. my face feels sunburned but im pretty sure the heat is just the blood rushing to my head. like a kid in a candy store, or the anxiety of the first day of school. the smile just will not go away. When i try to hide it it only turns into a laugh or even worse a hideous chuckle that begs people to ask why i am so happy. dare i tell them the truth? word vomit. check my fly for the umteenth time, im good. I think i will skip down the hall way now. Luther Vandross plays melodical tunes while i day dream in slow motion. inspired. happy. cute. butterflies.
Dear Tuesday,
I have a crush on you.

Me Mouse Pants

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dear Dove Chocolates

Dear Dove Chocolates,
Not only do your smooth chocolate candies fill my heart with joy and make my tastebuds sing songs of pleasure but your wrappers are pretty awesome too. In times when chocolate seems to be the only drug to cure my lonely heart or the cure all elixir to an awful day you just put the frosting on the cake by adding messages to your foil dream covers!Like a motivational speech in 10 words or less. My Monday was eased by the following messages:
Indulge in the moments that matter the most- Thank You Nicole from Williston, FL
When you give with joy, joy is your reward- couldnt agree more, Ida from Landing, NJ
Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.- Amen, Kallana from So. Richmond Hill, NY
Say "i love you everyday to your loved ones"- great reminder, Donna from Grand Junction, CO
and from the lady in Columbus, whose wrapper token i have lost, Look for love in unexpected places.

Thank you to those who donated their words of wisdom to the Dove company.
on a Monday morning when my eyelids hang heavily over my eyes, when my mind ceases to work on what it should but instead wonders to thoughts of anything but productivity and i need a sweet treat to accompany my morning coffee. When the boy doesnt call me back and im pretty sure i have gotten phased out. When my schedule proves to be too much for my friends and family to bear. When it seems everyone else around me is being annoying and i just need a moment of peace...Or shoooot- when im just hungry and craving something sweet. thank you for making my heart and tummy smile!
Love, Me Mousepants

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


It is not uncommon to find that your favorite drink,toy, bicycle, shirt, shorts or shoes are also made with a pink design to promote breast cancer awareness and support the charitable cause. The pink phenomenon is everywhere. How great is it that a charity has become a trend? Something cool to be a part of. Young women are now proudly displaying their Save the Tatas shirts. And ladies young and old gear up every year to participate in a 3 day, 60 mile walk that helps to raise millions of dollars for the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
With all that said, let me preface todays blog by saying, i completely support the Susan G. Komen Foundation and i think that it is truly amazing how men and women are coming together to show a tremendous amount of support.
Dear Women,
THE NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN EVERY YEAR IS HEART DISEASE. THE NUMBER TWO KILLER OF WOMEN EVERY YEAR IS CANCER (NO SPECIFIC KIND) AND THE NUMBER THREE CAUSE OF DEATH IS STROKE, ANOTHER HEART RELATED CAUSE. Every year the American Heart Association, sponsers, supporters and volunteers like myself work very hard to educate people and raise awareness of this statistic. Their mission is to build healthier lives, healthy lives that will be free of cardio vascular disease and stroke. We raise money for research through events and efforts such as Heart Walks- which encourage people to get out and take walks to strengthen their hearts and also through the Go Red for Women movement. Go Red is a passionate initiative for women of all ages to take control of their heart health. You may be familiar with the red dresses!!! IF not, e-mail me and i can get you a pin!
Heart disease was too commonly reffered to as an old mans disease for many many years. Something like 55% of women are unaware that heart disease is the number one cause of death for females. Its because of this majority that women are going untested and i just wanted to take a moment to educate the few that might read this blog!
Care about your heart!
And if you are not a woman, surely you have a mother, a sister, a friend, a cousin, aunt, wife or girlfriend that you care about!
I dont support this cause for just any reason....
I support it because my Mom has heart disease.
and i support it because i am a woman and i care about my heart.
So just remember next time you see the pink stuff in the store.. Yes, very important to save the boobies (we all like em) but perhaps you will also remember that blog written by some nobody. Maybe i wont get your money but i might save your life.
Me Mousepants